Have been watching Celine's music for the whole week, obsessed with it...all about love. I guess this is his will making me understand love more, all kinds of love...love between family, love between couple, love between people in the world. Finally I understand what I want truely, what I should look for in my life anywhere anytime, like what Carrie said, I am the one looking for TRUE love.
Woke up about 9:30 this morning, thinking I should write something to Tony, making some confession about...about this family, about the frequently saying "I love you.",about my feeling....but I didn't do it eventually.
For the last 24hrs, I only had a grapefruit, don't want anything even now. Stay in my room, find myself, find my spirit back, which has been taken away recently.What Matthew said in "addicted to love"? Hollow! I cannot feel anything at the bottom of heart, they may be not heavy enough to stay there all the time, flew away, was stolen ,emptied by the evil. My love, my loyalty , my faith (no, I still reserve my faith...). I felt bored on Friday first time, i was wandering in Wal-mart, doing nothing, checking every aisle,just to kill the time, or not willing to come home.
i keep telling me, I didn't actually lose anything,to comfort myself. Why was I still so sad? I did have something missing-my love. I felt so sad but no tears came out. Finally "To love you more" pulled all the tears out, i realized how sad I was then.
But, i am still looking forward to next Friday...still counting down....
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